If you picked up this
book, you are
probably a baby boomer who finds
yourself having to learn more about
the mysterious world of long-term
care for mom, dad, a loved one or even
yourself.
Stop!
Before you flip to the
back of the book for information on the how-to, let’s back up a second and
find out what you know or think you know already.
What are your preconceived
notions about long-term care? In the broadest sense, I define long-term care
as anything ranging from continuing care retirement communities to nursing
homes and assisted living facilities.
“What do my perceptions
have to do with anything?,” you might ask. Well, everything. Most people have
negative and false perceptions of these places. So going in, you may be
approaching an important decision with a bad attitude.
See, most people think of
these places as institutions. What you need to know is that they are regarded
by those who live in them as home, every bit as much as the house or apartment
you live in now.
The book is written to
shed light on the reality of life in long-term care. I know. I have spent
years inside these homes as an entertainer and singer.
“Your music is such a
blessing to our residents. They truly enjoy getting to hear music that
originates from the time when they were growing up. Your humor brings joy to
all. They smile and laugh at your jokes. They act 10 years younger every time
that you come to entertain.”
That is an excerpt of just
one of many letters I receive from activity directors in long-term care
facilities. And to think I picked up the guitar when I was 11 with the thought
of being a rock and roll king. Now I feel like a king being able to entertain
these wonderful people.
And it is these wonderful
people that I want to tell you about. Come inside with me as I illustrate
through vignettes, the way life is really lived and loved. Through tender and
sometimes hilarious moments I have shared with these people, I have come to
realize that most of the prevalent ideas about long-term care are not
realistic.
In these places live
thousands of older adults who take joy in the simple things that life has to
offer, like singing a song. So here I was in 1995 finding myself drawn to
entertain for them.
You will find greatness in
this book, meeting people who have led wonderful lives, out of the limelight.
These are people who never asked for anything to be handed to them. They took
what life brought them, worked hard, and rarely complained about the bad
times.
These are the quiet
heroes. They may not be heroes in the way our veterans, armed forces,
firefighters and police are considered. They may not be the stuff of myth or
legend. And their achievements may not be well known. But they nonetheless
possess noble qualities and show great courage – part of the literal
definition of hero in the dictionary.
These are people like
eighty-nine year-old Milton Bainbridge who stood by his wife’s side every day
for six years as she lie in a nursing home battling the effects of a stroke.
Then, after her passing, he continued to volunteer in the same nursing home.
Would we do the same?
And look at 73 year old
Ruth Ann Whitley, frail, suffering from a laundry list of health problems -
stroke, heart attack and a nervous breakdown all in succession plus six
different types of arthritis. Ruth Ann felt blessed every single day to be
alive and to be living in a nursing facility. She truly considered it home.
How would we react if it were us?
This collection of stories
is my attempt to replace the common perceptions with the reality. This is not
a how-to book about locating the best long-term care facility or a step by
step approach to health insurance options, although information is available
in the book to get you started in your research.
Rather, this is a glimpse
inside the real world of long-term care. Along the way, you will find a few
humorous anecdotes and inspirational stories about able-bodied older adults
who are full swing into enjoying their golden years. After all, with an
eighty-two year old mother who dates, in-laws in their seventies and a host of
retirement communities that I perform for, I have no shortage of material!
I’ll conclude with some comments about how our culture deals with growing
older too. We have a long way to go.
But let’s get started. Come with me on
the first step in a journey that will educate, amuse, enlighten and inspire.
It is my hope that after reading this, you will feel more confident about any
decisions you might need to make in the future.
